Beavis and ButtHead do the Holocaust
by StupidSequel
Summary: Beavis blows up his iPod in the microwave, opening a time portal back to Nazi Germany. They befriend Hitler, who promptly betrays them after a forced surgery. Since it's Beavis & Butthead, writing in my normal style still leaves them in character.


**Beavis and Butthead do the Holocaust (sequel to Beavis and Butthead Do America)**

A stupid sequel to Do America would probably be redundant. Aw well. I think the idea of Cornholio Hitler would be ridiculously hilarious. Let's take 'er for a test drive, shall we?

Beavis was listening to his iPod.

"God, I hate this song! Why the heck did I download this crunk core album? I love rock and roll, you can tell that by my shirt. This validates my theory that if it ain't rock and roll, it sucks!" Beavis ranted.

"Uh huh huh! You said 'sucks.'" Butthead chuckled.

"I did." Beavis replied. They laughed nonstop for a good ten minutes.

"I'm bored. Let's see what would happen if we microwaved your iPod. We should record it and put it on YouTube." Butthead suggested. Beavis nodded. Beavis deposited his iPod in the microwave, but not without lathering it up with gasoline first, since he's such a pyromaniac. He slammed the door and punched in 99:99 before pressing the start button. Butthead took out his camera and took several pictures.

"This is so going on YouTube." Butthead said.

"You said 'tube.' Like a tube top." Beavis said immaturely. 99 minutes and 99 seconds later, the kitchen was on fire. The microwave was all sparky.

"Did you get the video?" Beavis demanded. Butthead nodded. He showed Beavis, but there was no video. They were surprised to learn that taking pictures of an object in motion did not equal taking a video. The iPod was blurry in several of the photos.

"Dammit Butthead, now my iPod is destroyed AND we have no video! You have to repair it!" As the duo engaged in a fist fight, they got near the sparking microwave and got sucked into a time vortex. When they emerged, they found themselves near a high, barbed wire fence, with an incredible stench filling the air, of death and burning flesh. There were burning people, walking skeletons with clingy pelts, and mounds of bones.

"This is cool!" Butthead remarked.

"I've never seen a person on fire before!" Beavis exclaimed. "Got my heart beatin' like a drum." They walked around randomly, exploring the scenery gorn for several hours before rolling down a slope at a sufficient velocity to break through a diamond wall, right into Hitler. He didn't even budge.

"Du dumme Teenager gehören in einem meiner Todeslager," Hitler barked.

"You said 'doo' as in 'poop'" Butthead chuckled.

"So you're gonna dump on us?" Beavis asked. Hitler's countenance revealed amusement. Due to a Simpsons style immersion effect, Hitler picked up English just like that.

"You guys wanna date? I'm gay AND believe in polygamy." Hitler proposed.

"Hell no! I wanna date women! Now that i think of it, I wish YOU was a woman!" Beavis protested. Hitler was both flattered and disappointed. "Here, you can have my sugar. It'll make you feel better." Hitler took several cupfuls of the bag of sugar, which was full of dead ants and yellow jackets. Hitler was jumping up and down, being hyper in general.

"I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO! I NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE!" Hitler growled. He ran around, eating all the sugar he could, from candy, dessert bars, to ice cream trucks. The hunt brought him far and wide.

"He's even more out of control than that Intimidator 305 roller coaster at the Kings Dominion amusement park." Beavis commented.

"I have an idea. We wanna go out with him, but he's a guy, and we're not homos, right? Why not give him a sex change operation?" Poor Hitler, about to go under the knife, with Beavis and Butthead performing a sex change operation on him. How will it go? Well...

Beavis and Butthead lured Hitler into the operating room at the Kosair Children's hospital in Berlin by bag of sugar behind them. They managed to strap him down with rusty chains and knocked him out with a baseball bat. It wasn't easy, but after 177 hours of Hitler thrashing about like a scared animal, they succeeded. Butthead had brought a Playboy magazine (the Pokemon Lopunny was featured on the cover, somehow voted as the sexiest Pokemon back in WWII) and the duo studied it to use as a schematic. They realized they did not know a thing about surgery, so they improvised. Beavis got a papercut whilst turning the page, and he got an idea. He ripped the page out and cut up Hitler's chest with it, making a criss cross formation of incisions.

"So we'll insert basketballs in here to make D-cup boobs. Uh huh huh! Insert," Butthead chuckled. Beavis spied a mop. He cut the cleaning part of it off and glued it to Hitler's head to be used as a wig.

"Ummm, what about, you know, the male anatomy! Girls don't have penises." Beavis pointed out.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. Do we just... snip it off?" Butthead was confused.

"You effing dummy, if we do that, then we'll have to find a vagina to somehow replace it with."

After the three day surgery (one time Hitler woke up in excruciating pain because they were still doing the surgery, but the duo promptly whacked him on the head with the baseball bat.) Hitler looked at himself in the bathroom mirror while being yelled at for being in the men's room.

"OH MY GOD! I'M A WOMAN?" Hitler screamed. He stood in front of the urinal. He could not spray. "Dag nabbit! Those two blokes gave me a friggin vagina! Brennen in der Hölle" In English, that says 'burn in hell.'

Beavis and Butthead were still in the operating room, munching on hand sanitizer and playing with the equipment randomly. They did not know that Hitler was right in front of them, pointing a gun at their crotches, about to brutally neuter them. Beavis accidentally knocked over the huge bag of sugar. Some of it just so happened to fall in Hitler's mouth by accident. His mouth was closed. What amount? About a gallon. Hitler became Cornholio once more, forgetting about his plot to kill the boys for turning him into a woman.

"I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO! I NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE!" Hitler shouted in his German accent. Beavis saw his chance and did the unthinkable: impregnate Hitler so that Hitler would not want to kill the father of the baby. Not only would they be spared, but they would also score with a chick, thereby achieving their lifelong goal.

"Give me the baseball bat so I can hump him without him being able to stop me!" Beavis demanded. Butthead followed the order. Beavis took a hard whack and Hitler was unconscious.

"It's a girl," the doctor who delivered Hitler's baby declared.

"Let's bang that baby next," Beavis suggested.

"Tell all the Nazis they can quit these shitty death camps and enjoy a free life. I did not mention it earlier because I forgot." Hitler rasped. Beavis and Butthead had a 'better' idea. They carefully sliced Hitler's face off and ran to the photo the duo each had their own Hitler face they could duct tape on them so they could carry on Hitler's legacy.

"I like watching people burn," Beavis cried.

When they got to the concentration camps, they gasped in horror. The incinerators were turned off. There was no fire anywhere.

"Dammit, we're too late! The Nazis quit!" Butthead complained.

"Guess we shouldn't have told them they could quit since Hitler had his baby." Beavis mused.

"When we cut off Hitler's face, did we kill him? If so, what about his baby? I don't wanna leave it because it's a girl, so we can bang it later!" They ran back to the hospital. Hitler lay lifeless and faceless in the hospital bed. There was a note on the door that read 'I heard what you teenagers want to do to Hitler's baby. I gave her a sex change operation so that she can be a male so you won't want to bang her. And you do know that you two are related to Hitler, right? Signed, the doctor who delivered Hitler's baby. P.S. Since he's still biologically male, you did not fulfill your goal of scoring with a chick. You want some ice for that burn?'

"Let's go back home!" Beavis grumbled.


End file.
